


The same old tears (wish you were here)

by DestielIsFuckinReal



Series: Season 15 codas [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coda, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27421135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielIsFuckinReal/pseuds/DestielIsFuckinReal
Summary: No, just... no.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Season 15 codas [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1520546
Comments: 10
Kudos: 155





	The same old tears (wish you were here)

**Author's Note:**

> No, just... no.

Billie is dead, and now the next Reaper in line is gonna become Death. Dean saw her, a little thing named Raine who dresses like a voodoo priestess and has eyes completely white, a stark contrast to her dark skin. She's probably blind, a symbol, maybe, to how death doesn't make difference between one person and the other when it comes for them. And now Cas is dead too, went out with this big speech about how Dean changed him and how he loves him and Dean couldn't even say it back that the Empty engulfed him and _fuck_ , that wasn't supposed to happen, they were supposed to have more time, they were supposed to get out of the life once Chuck was gone and start over, _together_ , the apple pie life they all deserved.

Dean didn't leave his room since he dragged himself out of the basement, door locked behind him. Sam came to check on him, but Dean never uttered a word, until Sam got the memo and left him alone.

It's late at night or early in the morning, it doesn't really matter, when Dean finally emerges from his room, only to get more jack, if anything. He grabs the half empty bottle he and Sam left on the table, unscrews the cap and takes a long swing. The alcohol burns his throat as it goes down, reminding him that he's alive. He's _alive_. Because of Cas. Because Cas sacrificed himself so they can save the world.

«Selfless bastard!» Dean shouts, throwing the bottle at the nearest wall. He flops on the chair next to him, hides his face in his hands, Cas's words echoing in his head.

_You changed me, Dean._

_I love you._

«We were supposed to have more time, man, I had to say it too» he mutters.

Someone clears their throat, and Dean raises his eyes to see Sam leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. «You ok?» he asks.

Dean nods, «Peachy, Sam, just had a little temper tantrum» he stands up, hoping his brother will leave him alone enough so he can go back to his room. No such luck, as Sam blocks his path by standing straighter at the door, arms still crossed. He's always been imposing, since he started outgrow Dean in height a decade ago, and now, outlined by the light of the corridor and what little light the lamps on the table cast on his form, he's towering.

«Sit» he says. Dean is about to argue, but Sam doesn't let him speak. «It's one in the morning and you're drinking and smashing bottles on walls, you haven't left your room since Jack and I came back, so now you sit and talk, I'm tired of your bullshit»

Dean doesn't argue, he doesn't have the strength or will to do it, so he sits back on the chair, Sam across from him, and tells him everything, Billie, the deal, Cas, the Empty.

«I didn't say it back, Sam» Dean chokes out at the end, «I didn't have _the time_ to say it back»

Sam is silent for a moment, taking it all in. «I'm... I'm sorry» he says at last, «I had no idea»

Dean lets out a humorless laugh, «Yeah, I've been told I can hide my feelings pretty well»

«There must be a way to bring him back»

«How?» Dean asks, «He made a fucking deal, Sam, the Empty is not some place we can magically bring someone back from with our guns out»

He doesn't let Sam answer, he just walks to his room, slamming the door behind him.

\---

The next day, Sam and Jack wait for the Empty to show up in the basement where it took Castiel the day before. Sam found how to summon it in the library that morning, an old book sitting at the back of the shelf, covered in dust and spiderwebs, with a golden elegant lettering that Sam roughly translated in _Cosmic Entities_. Jack is silent beside him. Telling them when they found him in the library, flipping page after page, looking for a way to bring Cas back... Jack asked him what he was doing, and Sam almost didn't have the heart to tell them, but then he explained everything, repeating what Dean told him the night before. Jack's shoulders sagged, before they asked Sam if there was a way to bring him back, and then threw themselves on the books scattered on the table the moment Sam said that yes, maybe there is. It was Jack who found the book, when they raised their eyes a moment, seeing it over Sam's head between a red tome and a black one.

Sam can feel the air shift, and then a black hole opens on the wall, liquid black tendrils spasming around its outlines, moving forward, until they take Meg's form. The Empty groans the moment it sees them, rolling its eyes in annoyance.

«I was finally able to sleep!» it whines.

«Yeah, well, we're stubborn like that» Sam says and the Empty gives him a look.

«You are infuriating, that's what you are» it says, «what could you possibly want now?»

Jack steps forward, «Bring Cas back»

«No can do kid, that was the deal»

«Then let's cut a new one» Sam says, «you give us Cas, we give you Chuck»

The Empty's eyes widen, Sam can see the hunger in there. «And what could little ol' me do with God himself?» it asks.

Sam shrugs, «I don't know, I don't care, I just want my best friend back»

The Empty smirks, a feral thing that shows all of its teeth. It offers out one hand, «Deal»

Sam takes it, he leans forward, says, «And you stay away from him»

The Empty turns its head so Meg's lips are on Sam's ear, «Give me God, I'll bring your angel back, and you won't hear from me again»

\---

They kill Chuck in an abandoned warehouse, where the wind howls and the metal roof rattles so much that it's almost impossible to hear one another. The storm outside is raging, and Dean has the feeling that Chuck is doing it all to scare them, or distract them, he doesn't really care. Chuck's voice is booming, and his powers are overwhelming. His right eye is the color of a starless night while the other is so bright it almost blinds him with its intensity.

Behind a pillar, Dean checks the bullets in the Colt, only two left, he looks over at his brother only to find the same hopeless look in his eyes. Sam, who finds hope even in the worst situations, is now shaking his head slightly, but his grip on the angel blade doesn't falter. Michael is down, Jack was the first one Chuck sent flying on the wall and is now lying next to the archangel. It's over.

Chuck's voice is close when he says, «And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for he is a God of justice»

Sam and Dean share one last look before coming out of their hiding spot. Chuck is only few feet away, his grin is the thing of a nightmare, and white light surrounds him, «If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness»

He shoots one hand out, grips both Sam and Dean with the force of his mind by the throat and closes his fist. Dean can feel his bones break, then Chuck moves his attention to his heart, crushing it slowly, painfully. Dean closes his eyes. He doesn't scream, doesn't want to give Chuck the satisfaction. Then, all of a sudden, a cry echoes in the warehouse, and Dean feels his legs give out. He kneels on the ground, looks over at Sam, who's gasping for air just like he is, then looks up. Chuck is laying down, dead, and right where he was, Jack is panting, holding Billie's scythe. Michael is behind them, one hand on their shoulder and one hand holding his side, his mouth is red from the blood dripping from his nose and he has an ugly slash on his neck that disappears under the hem of Adam's tshirt.

«She did say I'd be the one to kill him» Jack says, a small smile on their face, before fainting.

\---

Sam catches his breath while Dean is outside taking Jack to the car. Michael left the moment Chuck died, not before healing both Sam and Dean as much as he could after Chuck hit him, saying that flying Jack to the bunker to retrieve the scythe and back took him a lot of effort.

Sam looks down at Chuck's lifeless form, when black goo appears right next to it, slowly engulfing him. He looks around, waiting for the Empty to come out from somewhere, but then his eyes catch Cas looking at his hands, a confused frown on his face. He then looks up, checks his surroundings, before his eyes meet Sam's.

«Sam?» he says, not entirely believing what he's seeing.

Sam just walks to him, hugs him tight. He feels Cas's arms close around him, and Sam lets out a sob.

When they part, Cas asks, «What happened?»

«I made a deal with the Empty» he says, and Cas's eyes widen in alarm, «nothing self sacrificing» Sam assures, «I just swapped your place for Chuck's»

«So he is...»

«Dead» Sam finishes for him, «Jack killed him with Billie's old scythe»

Cas nods, once, and silence falls between them.

Then Cas says, «And Dean? Is he...»

Before he can finish though, Dean walks through the doors, eyes on the keys of the Impala, and he says, «Sam, you ready? I want to get home before Jack wakes...» his words die in his throat as he sees Cas standing next to Sam and he rushes to him. In an instant, his hands are on Cas's face, cupping his jaw in a way Sam never saw his brother do to anyone, then Dean lunges forward, and hugs Cas, burying his face in the angel's neck. Cas's arms sneak around Dean's waist, he closes his eyes. Sam's lips lift up in a small smile, and he decides to wait for them in the car.

\---

Dean inhales Cas's scent, a mix of rain and sunshine he thought he'd never smell again. He hugs Cas tighter, bringing him flush to his body, feels Cas's arms on his waist and almost cries. He hears Sam walk away, leaving them alone, and lifts his head to look at the angel. He cups Cas's face, and then slowly, oh so slowly, he leans in. Cas must have got with the programme, because he closes the space between them in an instant and kisses him, and _god_ , Dean could live only of this for the rest of his life. Cas kisses with a purpose, like a man starving for days. Dean licks at his lower lip, asking, _begging_ for entrance, and Cas opens his mouth, hands balling into fists on Dean's jacket.

When they part, Dean leans his forehead on Cas's, eyes closed, «Don't you dare do that to me again» he says, «Don't you dare tell me you love me and then die before I can say it back»

Cas's breath catches, he says, «I won't»

«Fuck Cas, I thought I lost you for real this time»

Cas's hands come up to cup Dean's cheeks, and the other man leans into it, «I'm sorry»

Dean opens his eyes, stares into Cas's ones as he says, «I love you»

«I know» Cas smiles, and Dean smiles back, because he can just not to.

«Ok Han Solo, does this make me Leia?»

«Well, you _are_ just as pretty as a princess»

Dean laughs, «Asshole»

«I love you» Cas says.

Dean gives him a shit-eating grin, «I know»

Cas just kisses him again.


End file.
